Marriage Mentor: The List

I read this in a devotional, and it made me smile.  You know, a smile of recognition...

I'll never forget the email I received from a husband who described in point-by-point detail what he hoped to get from one of our marriage conferences he and his wife were scheduled to attend. I can't squeeze all of them onto this page, but you'll get the idea.
I need you to talk to my wife about:

1. Getting her to stop watching bad TV shows
2. Getting her to read the Bible
3. Getting her to listen to Christian music
4. Getting her to support the charity work I do
5. Getting her to realize that she's a sinner
6. Getting her to stop drinking beer
7. Getting her to stop wasting our family's money
8. Getting her to stop worrying about fixing up our home
9. Getting her to realize she's setting a bad example...

I have my list...God, teach him this...make him this...help him quit that.  I have so often thought that my marriage would be perfect if my husband acted like I told him to.  If that man would just behave...goodness, my life would be so much easier.  
I don't have the benefit of decades and decades of marriage...but I have been married for years and years.  One thing that I am certain of:  I cannot change my man.  I have absolutely no control over how he chooses to act or what he thinks...heck, I can't even get him to wear what I would like.  What I do know is that God can change him...but that doesn't mean that bringing God a laundry list of things I wish my husband was or did honors my man or my God.  
First, it completely absolves me of any responsibility in my marriage.  Truth is, I could be married to the perfect man, and my marriage would still be flawed just because I am part of it.  God has some work to do on me.  Troy has his list - I am sure.  Second, it robs Troy of the opportunity to do his own thing with God.  God is working in my husband.  He is working for my husband's good.  My list may not be of benefit to Troy. God is teaching, growing and changing Troy according to His good purpose.
Don't get me wrong, I totally believe that God wants us to vent to Him.  I tell on Troy all the time.  I just don't think that hanging my hopes on God doing what I say to in and for my man will make marriage perfect.  I will trust God to be faithful in my marriage...He always has been.  He has never given me reason to doubt that He knows and wants His best for my family.  My man isn't perfect and my marriage is perfect, but my God is.

Kelly Borst